Robert Carey-Hogue (formerly “Beckford”) of Kansas City, Missouri, died January 10, 2011, at KC Hospice House after a long battle with AIDS. Robert was born Robert Beckford in North Kansas City, Missouri, on February 27, 1970, to Melvin Beckford and Cynthia (Sue) Flint Beckford.
His parents died when he was 10 and Robert and his two sisters were moved to Fort Meyers, Florida where they lived with their maternal grandparents. When he was 13, Robert and his sister, Beth, were placed in the custody of a paternal uncle and his wife in Shawnee, Kansas, where Robert attended Shawnee Mission Northwest High School. Like many other gay and lesbian adolescents, Robert was turned out of this home when his sexuality became known. Robert was fortunate that a gay couple, John Carey and Dudley Hogue, stepped forward and the court granted custody of Robert to John in 1985, making it the first known adoption to an openly gay person granted by a court in this country. Robert graduated from Bishop Miege High School and attended the University of Kansas prior to spending two summers in Costa Rica and The Dominican Republic as a volunteer with Amigos de las Americas. When he turned 18, Robert petitioned the court to change his name to Carey-Hogue in honor the two men who had parented him.
Robert lived for several years in Washington, D.C. and New York City before returning to Kansas City in 1995 to work on the AIDS Walk. At a fund raiser for the event, he met Rand Souden, his partner of the past 16 years. They moved to California where Robert was a software sales representative for the Los Angeles office of CT Corporation System. They returned to Kansas City a few years ago to be nearer their families, splitting time between their home here and in the Los Angeles area until Robert’s illness prevented him from traveling.
Robert is survived by two sisters and their families: Beth (Beckford) Watson and her husband, David of Wellsville, Kansas, and beloved niece and nephews Hailey, Alec, Brandon and Erik; and Melissa “Missy” (Beckford) Reynolds, of Fort Meyers, Florida, and nephews Marshall and Brian. Also surviving are his parents, John Carey and Dudley Hogue, of Prairie Village, Kansas, as well as his partner, Rand Souden, and their dogs, Tilly, Mickey and Petey, at the couple’s home in Kansas City, Missouri.
Robert’s family would like to acknowledge the wonderful work of everyone at Kansas City Hospice and Palliative Care, particularly Drs. Riseman and Harris and Peggy Green, Robert’s long-time case worker and a valued friend, as well as The Good Samaritan Project, especially our friend and case worker there, Rhonda Adams. The family also wishes to thank so many friends, both local and from across the country, and neighbors in Squire Park whose kindness and generosity throughout Robert’s illness has been overwhelming, especially our nextdoor neighbors, the Benedictine Sisters of Atchison, Kansas, who have lifted us up in prayer and embraced us with love continually throughout Robert’s lengthy infermity.
Friends and family are invited to remember Robert at a service to be conducted on Saturday, January 29, 2011, at 11 am at First Lutheran Church, 6400 State Line Road, Mission Hills, Kansas, followed by a reception in the church fellowship hall. Friends, neighbors and family are also welcome to attend an informal come-and-go reception celebrating Robert’s life at Robert and Rand’s home at 1200 Manheim Road, Kansas City, Missouri, on Friday, January 28, 2011, beginning at 7 pm.
Robert loved dogs and was an avid supporter of rescue organizations. He and Rand shared their home with 13 dogs during their years together, rescuing most of them from shelters or finding them abandoned in parks. It was Robert’s wish that, in lieu of flowers, memorial contributions be made to Sachi Animal Rescue (SAR), on the web at SachiAnimalRescue.com. The family suggests donations to SAR, your local animal shelter or to Kansas City Hospice, on the web at KansasCityHospice.org.
